Little nothings for growing up angels

I was faced with a weird situation yesterday, and that made me think that it helps to be a little careful at each step in life. I also felt that maybe I should share a few do’s and don’ts with growing up girls(and may be boys too) even though their parents are doing more than what I could think of!

Also, a friend’s daughter celebrates her birthday tomorrow and this will be a little gift to her, and also to all my nieces and growing-up daughters of all other friends.

So, with the hope that I am not over stepping, here is a humble attempt.

1. We all grow up in the lovely blissful and protective environment that our parents bring to us no matter what their background is. Every parent(and yes, there may be exceptions) tries to give the best to their children. But when you step out of your home, you may start comparing, you may be faced with peer pressure and may be wanting every thing that your peers have. You may also feel resentment if your parents refuse. To be practical, it is impossible for you to have everything. Know that if your parents refuse, it is with your welfare in their minds and they knowing whether you really need to have something. You should also know that you need not have everything that the others have, because in that way the list will be endless and you can never keep pace.
2. Share your day -to- day activities with your parents. Tell them who your friends are. Visit them if you must, but let your parents know and let them know who you are mingling with. This is important because at the end of the day, should you get into trouble, it is only your parents and close family who will come to your rescue.
3. When you go out to meet a friend, share their contact details with one parent at least so if you are late and your phone is unreachable, the parent will have an option to find out.
4. Exposure to online activities is normal and cannot be avoided but watch your space. If something does not feel right, it probably is not right for you. Speak to your parents or elder siblings/trusted cousins if you are in doubt. And draw a boundary for yourself; always. https://deepikapathak.medium.com/relooking-at-the-gaming-the-meta-world-that-we-are-so-much-in-awe-of-971212a9c93f
5. As in online, so offline watch your steps as you walk out of home. Notice if you are being stalked, be alert, and if you uncomfortable, pause, change direction if needed till the supposed danger is out of sight. Or simply seek help. Shout/scream if you must to gather people so the predator panics.
6. When you leave home, ensure your phone is fully charged, ensure you have sufficient cash, ensure emergency numbers are handy. I, as a teen tried to keep an umbrella in my bag so if needed I could use it. Keeping an umbrella also came naturally because the place where I grew up has rains in the midst of a sunny day, or sun in the midst of a rainy day and in a very unpredictable manner.
7. If you need to travel alone by a cab, share the numbers, location and other details with family. Also talk to someone while in the cab so that driver knows you are not “really” alone. Keep sharing your location with the one on call and be a little loud so to drive the point that your family/friend who you are talking to knows your location.
8. Know that the world outside your cozy home will be tough. You will be faced with tough situations and some of those might have to be faced alone. Have that courage to act responsibly, and to focus on the problem at hand and apply presence of mind. You will surely sail through.
9. You will also fail at times, you will be sad, disheartened but know that the world does not end at one failure, one disappointment. Learn and move on to the next battle. Do not keep the failure in heart for too long, vent it out, cry if you must but move on.
10. Learn to define your boundaries — whether it is in terms of career, ambition, material longings, or simply your space. Learn to be assertive and spell out if someone or something makes you uncomfortable.
11. There are many places you have to go alone, so do some research before you venture out. If the places is not within an accessible public place, try to get some company instead of reaching there alone and meeting with surprises.
12. As you grow, you will know that you need both physical and mental peace to survive. You will need to take care of your health, you need to walk, to rest, to relax, to sleep to rejuvenate. https://deepikapathak.medium.com/womens-health-and-ayurveda-50abe02f201
13. Know that health decisions cannot be forced upon you, know that your schools, colleges, employers are not the right candidates to decide about your health. Do not accept medical interventions without proper knowledge and verification. You may be faced with dire situations but before you rush, pause and weigh the consequences.
14. Growing up girls will have many other physical challenges. It is important to understand the process, understand the functions of the body and most important to understand that staying close to nature, adopting natural means, avoiding allopathic painkillers, supplements will help in the long run.
15. Important to have some close friends with whom you can share your thoughts without any inhibitions. But if you aren’t lucky to have trusted friends, take to writing, singing, painting, gardening or whatever brings you happiness and then you will find your tribe.

P.S. I read this book “With Love, Ann Marie” when I was in high school and I loved it back then though I don’t know if I would have a different thought now. I haven’t read it since but wish to do and write a review too hopefully. I do not remember much of the content but my younger self would have recommended a read.

With love, Ann Marie;: Letters for growing up

With Love, Ann Marie